Such questions have plagued mankind throughout the ages. Oh, I almost forgot. The most intriguing question of all is: Why do most Americans hate soccer? Many sports enthusiasts have pondered that question and have never found the answer. 

I have. It's in the rules, baby.

Oh, I'm sorry: Did I say lawyers? Yes, we shed the daily trappings of our mundane existence and wait with anticipation for history to be made. A nation tunes in; and for that brief period of time, there will be no liberals who dream of equal rights, no conservatives who live in a world gone by, and no socialists who preach of the promised land.

Political philosophy is dead, and the world is as one.

The game is on.

The column title comes from a great song by one of my favorite bands, Coldplay.

Editor's note: I'm sure that Gwyneth, Apple, and Moses would agree.

While Coldplay isn't exactly in the pantheon of greatest bands ever, like, say, Flock of Seagulls, they're still pretty damn good. Note: The name of the high school in today's column has been changed to protect the guilty.

Someone at the office asked why I waited so long to relate the story. The answer is simple: I don't know.

Usually it stems from a player who is either temporarily or chronically out of sorts, dissatisfied with his own or his team's efforts, and in need of an outlet for that frustration.

That's true on the surface. But there is a cultural foundation for such behavior and why it's tolerated in soccer.

Click the title to read this excellent analysis.

Check inside to see how the better referees, including our own Craig Bohnert, handle that situation. Following his advice is sure to give your career a shot in the arm.

Considering this article is about soccer, perhaps we should have said it will give your career a leg up.