Here (and in Part III) are the top ten reasons soccer is not embraced in the United States.

#10 The dimensions of the field

Soccer is played on a field that must be rectangular. I don't have a problem with that part. The length must be at a minimum 100 yards long, and at a maximum 130 yards long, unless you are playing by international standards, when the minimum would be 110 yards and the maximum would be only 120 yards. WHAT? Come on, guys. Make up your mind!

Americans love consistency. In soccer, the width is at a minimum 50 yards wide and at a maximum 100 yards wide, but hold onto your hat. International matches are at a minimum 70 yards wide; maximum, 75 yards. I'm not a mathematician, but correct me if I'm wrong: You could get lost out there.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, where did you last see your child?"

"He was on the soccer field next to Rhode Island."

Continued...